Created this sketch while
looking at this picture.
Soaked in grey light
oily blue puddles
shimmer on the platform.
The train is late.
A man shuffles his feet,
paper folded under a
brown woolen arm.
The shine on his shoes
would dazzle
in proper light.
A woman searches her purse
the fare is in here somewhere;
her keys mimic the sound
her dress clings to mystery.
Children play
the way children do.
Innocence waning
the way innocence will.
The Porter checks his watch,
schedule folded under a
blue woolen arm.
Shoes worn with polish.
Face lined with age and
weathered without mystery.
A grimace or a scowl
or a look
forlorn in the tedium of station
…of a place, in life
…trains coming going screeching.
In his station
there is nothing to do
but wait.
Creating sketches at the bar tonight.
Station
08 Saturday Feb 2014
Posted in poems
Created this sketch while
looking at this picture.
Soaked in grey light
oily blue puddles
shimmer on the platform.
The train is late.
A man shuffles his feet,
paper folded under a
brown woolen arm.
The shine on his shoes
would dazzle
in proper light.
A woman searches her purse
the fare is in here somewhere;
her keys mimic the sound
her dress clings to mystery.
Children play
the way children do.
Innocence waning
the way innocence will.
The Porter checks his watch,
schedule folded under a
blue woolen arm.
Shoes worn with polish.
Face lined with age and
weathered without mystery.
A grimace or a scowl
or a look
forlorn in the tedium of station
…of a place, in life
…trains coming going screeching.
In his station
there is nothing to do
but wait.
Creating sketches at the bar tonight.
Poetry on the run 
her dress clings to mystery….
of a place in life….
you sprinkle these zingers nicely in among some really nice detail
that really builds the scene and the people….
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thanks Brian, I’m afraid this one isn’t impromptu enough for tonight’s prompt…I’ll have to see what else I can come up with to present to the bar.
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ah glad you dropped it in…i think you just fine….smiles.
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I echo brian on the .. her dress clings to mystery.. wonderful.. I like the combo of shoes worn with polish and face lined with age. Great images. In the proper light, as it is right here.. this poem will dazzle. I enjoyed hearing you read it as well.
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Thanks Steph, I don’t think this one is quite impromptu enough for tonight’s prompt…may have to see what else I can come up with on the fly…not exactly my forte.
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this piece dazzles with its minutia of detail, strong sense of place, terrific descriptive sections, and what feels like real people standing in the stanzas. liked the lines /a grimace or a scowl or/a look forlorn in the tedium of station/ a perfect sketch, Ron, so don’t mess with it, for it rocks the prompt.
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This is perfect, so vividly descriptive. I can really picture the scene, the people, and the emotions. Well done! 🙂
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I like how the characters come to life, the man, woman, children & finally the porter ~ The waiting can be unbearable for those lives in the train station ~ Good one Ron ~
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Well captured, and I enjoyed your reading too.
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a photo prompt plus a prompt from dverse…lots to work with here ..a great sketch in time 🙂
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very cool capture…i love trains and train stations and watching people there, so that was right up my alley….esp. hit by ..Face lined with age and
weathered without mystery… i so want mine to wither with mystery you know…
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very detailed and making us ‘see’ this easily.
Might I be forgiven if I suggest that the sound in line 14 is elaborated upon? like the sound of disconcertation or something similar? Being flustered.
A MAN U fan in deepest upstate NY?
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Thanks Hanna, I will play around with your suggestion and see what I can come up with…MAN U fans – we are everywhere.
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Great scene, Ron! I felt I was on the platform,waiting for the train too.
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The scenery we can observe on a train-station, a subway or a cafe.. the rest is to let our mind wander… really good…
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I really liked this one and listening to the reading.
There is nothing to do but wait.
My father was career army and I remember him saying in reference to army and just about everything. “Hurry up and wait.”
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