Winter drizzle, a hill cemetery, open,
naked but for the stumps of stone
arranged in neat precise lines,
or laid haphazardly depending
upon the desire of the deceased,
and will of the living.
Jackstraw pines separate the hill from the road,
mostly dead or dying from exhaust fumes
and oil slicked runoff.
On a path at the bottom of the hill
a small white-headed man pushes
a smaller white-headed woman in a wheelchair.
He stops at a bench, turns her toward the stones,
lights a cigarette for her, hands her a flask, settles onto the bench.
Sitting still, waiting patiently, they are dressed for the weather,
as if they intend to wait for a change.
The old places are all deserted, the old times are all abandoned.
What remains are a few faces, the flavor of tobacco and whiskey,
food is a necessary evil like using the toilet and clipping toenails.
The business that remains is more than just letting go,
it is tearing loose from what is left of the grand possibility –
what was made and what became of it.
Open link night at the Pub
Whiskey and Cigarettes at the End
13 Monday Jan 2014
Posted poems
in
You have such a wonderful way of placing the wealth of a life and all it’s trite and powerful significance on the end of a blade of grass I want to chew and savor till only the sweetness of its essence remains. I love how you explore the human condition. Beautifully expressed…
LikeLike
Thank you t.dot…this is nicest and most poetic compliment I have ever received.
LikeLike
😉
LikeLike
this is a perfectly painted scene – love all the details of the scene and how they enter the picture… the things that remain… you don’t stay with what the eye can see but dive deep into their psyche as well…
LikeLike
You have really told a poignant tale, Ronald….life as it sometimes can become when so little let remains. The two still love each other, in their own way. They share what they can, which seems to be little, but perhaps in the sharing is the recognition of the letting go.
LikeLike
A stark picture of ageing – there is much truth in this, whatever your poison. Well told.
LikeLike
quite an emotional close there in the tearing loose…not just letting go…i like your approach in this…setting the scene, introing the characters and then bringing it home in the end…
LikeLike
The scene of the elderly couple drinking and smoking — and the churchyard that seem forgotten… It seems like they are the last few standing.. a stark image of loneliness…
LikeLike
Evening Ronald, For me the best of my night so far… Great empathy for your topic and some marvellous lines – even early on – for example:
“naked but for the stumps of stone”
and also:
“they are dressed for the weather,
as if they intend to wait for a change.”
Not to mention your last three lines – which, as you must know yourself, are terrific!
Great read – thanks… Scott http://www.scotthastie.com
LikeLike
Thanks Scott…I really appreciate your encouraging words and very much value your opinion.
LikeLike
You have painted quite a scene here, Ron! We can really visualize the couple and their slow movements.
LikeLike
Very nice. Quietly powerful. Great painting of a scene with your words. 🙂
LikeLike
The last two lines gave me a chill. A vivid and kind of melancholy scene. The word haphazard was not lost on me.
LikeLike
I love this. Wow. ” naked but for the stumps of stone” , that will be how I see each hill cemetery now
LikeLike
What description (observation) in a poetic narrative that tells a striking tale.
LikeLike
The feeling of elegy is exerted through this; written with elegance of style and attention to detail. I think the ending is dramatic and powerful. Nonetheless, I think you should mark this poem and re-visit it when you’re 70+ – I wonder if you will wish to revise the ending. Other feelings may cut closer to the bone having experienced the grief you write about here. Not saying this isn’t apt, just saying it doesn’t quite hit home for me.
LikeLike
Gay,
If I reach 70+ I hope to be writing a completely different story, something along the line of Stanley Kunitz’s ‘The Layers’. As for these two people, the poem describes a point on the arc of their lives. The ending? Like them I don’t plan to simply let go of this grand possibility we call life…whatever I make of it, whatever it becomes. So whether it’s whiskey and cigarettes or champagne and caviar I wish for everyone to have the luck to go out on their own terms…for me it’s likely to be a flood of coffee and an avalanche of donuts…metaphorically speaking.
Thanks for the thoughtful and thought provoking comments. I really enjoy communicating with other writers.
Ron
LikeLike
Yes I believe you will..and I like your reference to Kunitz, a poet I admire. Thanks for mentioning him. I am planning to do a series of prompts for MTB Thursdays based on poets’ manifestos much in the way I did with the Beats. I will look closer at Kunitz and his approach to poetry. I am thinking of beginning with Seamus Heaney as we lost him last year. He has a good bit to say about writing in his Redress of Poetry.
Probably if I re-read your poem today I would react differently. It’s a very fine poem and I just had a picture of myself reading the poems I wrote at 30 now that I am 71. It’s funny the way things change and yet I’m a great believer in not re-editing from an older viewpoint. I think they should stand in final edit from their time. But that’s just me. Cheers. I enjoyed your response.
LikeLike
The business that remains is more than just letting go,
it is tearing loose from what is left of the grand possibility –
what was made and what became of it…
…had to quote these lines…definitely dig how you write. The clarity in your imagery is undeniable…enjoyed reading this.
LikeLike
Poignant and beautifully written.
LikeLike
What a scene you set…it’s so precise and vivid and evoked my imagination to fill in other details. Your poem reminded me of mine too…about the aged. When you mentioned that food is a necessary evil…that’s so true for my friend…her appetite for it…and life…is waning.
LikeLike
The two old folks seem like the last of their set alive, now visiting those who have gone before them. That’s one of the great sadnesses people suffer when they grow really old, being the ones left behind.
LikeLike
Great writing. I felt so sorry for the jackstraw pines and for the elderly couple, as I felt sure they were visiting their child. Very moving.
Pea
LikeLike
Setting the scene, introducing the characters and leaving the reader to wonder about their own moment of truth in the ageing process. You have created a novel in a mere 181 words that should be read over and over again to marvel at the beauty of the written word condensed to poetry. Simply marvelous
LikeLike
John, thank you for these generous words…comments like this can just make a poet’s day.
LikeLike
“What remains are a few faces, the flavor of tobacco and whiskey …” – who can resist? a marvelous and tough poem, Ron. tony
LikeLike
Your word pictures draw the reader into becoming a participant in the poem. It actually made me be able to taste the taste of cigarettes and whiskey (which I haven’t had in years). Absolutely marvelous!
LikeLike
wonderful description and the capture of understanding people… great details… so real
LikeLike
‘tearing loose’ – oh yes, that’s what happens when you know you are facing the long goodbye. It wrenches, it’s not an easy slide for either the one who remains or the one who leaves…
LikeLike
i want to curse, this is so good. for the sake of your cultured readers i’ll refrain.
LikeLike