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In America many women with heart shaped legs
will scale the long stairs, intention intact,
only to fall asleep in warm shafts of light.
In a sweatshop the young girl’s fingers begin to bleed.
She puts on gloves, blood pools in the fingertips
she cannot grip the thread, she cannot feel her arms.
On an abandoned farm a young man lies down
in abandoned hay. His breath steams the air.
The hay is dry though not as warm as cardboard.
In the Minnesota Iron Range when the iron ore poured
the living was rich. The jobs were too good
so they took them away, now all they dig is slag.
Somewhere in America a man stumbles on mausoleum steps.
The doors are locked to protect bones and dust.
Pressing his face to the cool stone he whispers Please let me in.
Ron, your writing has truly taken off in such a splendid direction. I love this piece it really speaks about life and experience. I might suggest losing the numbers—they are somewhat superfluous and break the rythym of the poem by being on the page. I would have been proud to say ‘I wrote this.’ That is the best compliment another writer can give to another writer I think. Keep it going. Dig deep there is more than slag to be mined in the heart and soul. >KB
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Well, I think you have payed me the highest compliment possible, thank you. I will rethink the numbers, I really don’t want to do something that breaks the rhythm…thanks for the tip.
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My pleasure. I only mention because, though there are times where you will want to demark sections in a piece, you have to pick and choose them. It’s just like stanza breaks and such, another form of punctuation. One of the things tht attacted me to your poem is that I often like to use that form of dispparate images one after another woven together by the page and making a whole entity when done with each being emblematic or even metaphors for the whole. >KB
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Reblogged this on The Mirror Obscura and commented:
Though this may sound repetitious because it is and pleasinghly so Ronald Shields has written a beautiful poem and is making poetry happen for his readers. >KB
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What a beautiful intro to a poem. It kept me fixed and reading.
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Thank you.
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I too was caught by the beginning of this poem. The first stanza is my favorite – the imagery is unique and it does speak a truth about our country.
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Thank you for reading this.
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I love the raw honesty of your poetry. It makes no apologies. It just is. 🙂
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