Just when you think your God must be paying attention
the sidewall on the right front tire blows out at 75 mph.
Luckily you are equipped to survive, you are driving a Volvo.
The spin doesn’t surprise you, Fast and Furious is your favorite movie.
Confusion is your primary feeling. Which way to turn the wheel?
Stay off the brake? Downshift? Let go of the wheel? Close your eyes?
Ahh, but now you recall all the blessings in your life.
God has truly smiled on you. You repeat three times:
“I’m not lucky. I am blessed.”
“I’m not lucky. I am blessed.”
“I’m not lucky. I am blessed.”
The spin does not stop. Now you are airborne.
The night sky opens as the t-top pinwheels towards the stars.
Surely your God’s hand guides your flight.
Surely your God would not call you home at the height of your win streak.
The ground is closing in on your unprotected head.
What more does your God want from you?
Are you just another Job looking for a whale?
Surely you will walk away from the aftermath.
You must stay here for your wife and children.
The promotion, corner office, stock options, surely these are blessings.
Why would your God bless you only to take it all away here on Rt. 41?
Your God is a Just God! He would not abandon you in your hour of need.
“Oh God! I don’t want to die! Please God! I want to live!”
But the ground is so close now…
Time stretches, past-present-future condense into a moment of pure insight, birth-life-death, this is what it all comes down to, a subatomic fault in a rubber tire, the entire universe, all the universes, turn with the precision of fate as your parabola bends into an ellipse, the tumble of dice, quantum shockwaves reverberate and you are no more significant than a rogue electron deep in the rubber of Michelin’s finest.
“Oh God! Why have you forsaken me?”
You see the looming macadam, you see the stars spinning, your life passing,
but you do not see your God or any of his heavenly host.
“The light! Where is the fucking white light?!”

And now we come to the crux of the biscuit.

You want your payoff.
The years of restraint, faith and tithes have to count for something.
You don’t care which God is The God, you just want credit for playing the game.
You don’t want to be lucky.
You want to be blessed.
It is important.
It is essential.
You must be blessed.

I was once told by someone, “I’m not lucky. I am blessed.”  This is all I can think of to say in response.